how to LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS

by Jillian on April 17, 2010

(This applies to Freshmen who are moving back home for the summer, students who have decided to live at home to save money and college grads who can’t yet afford to live on their own)

• Respect your parents. I know this is difficult when you consider yourself an adult, you are capable of working and being in an adult relationship but the bottom line is that you are still reliant on your parents so you must humble yourself before them, respect them and do your best to please them.

• Do not alienate your parents. No matter how difficult this is, they are the people who will always love you and be there for you. Friends can come and go but family is for life.

• Obey their rules. If you’re over 21 and of legal drinking age, your parents still won’t think it’s cool if you spend every waking minute of your free time getting wasted on their wallets. If you can’t afford to live on your own, then you don’t deserve to enjoy all the amenities that being an adult has to offer (this goes for relationships also).

• Figure out what you’ve done wrong and change. Changing yourself is not easy to do. We all find fault in others, and though we may also see the faults within ourselves, old habits die hard. If you’re still at home because you’re frivolous with your money, then you need to figure out where you are making mistakes and fix them.

• Learn to compromise. As much as you want to be treated like an adult while living carefree under your parents’ roof, it isn’t going to happen. But they can give you some freedom, if you earn their respect and obey their general rules. So you can have the occasional beer after work, or go out responsibly with your friends once in a while. But bringing home a date is just plain tacky. On the other hand, if you’re in a long-term relationship, then it is acceptable.

• Communication is the key. Be sure that you understand their rules and that they understand your needs and struggles as well. Let them know when you make progress in your life and seek their advice when you need it. They’ve been on this earth twice as long as you and they’re still here, so must know a thing or two about living.

• Remember that it’s only temporary. Allow yourself to envision the future you want to have for yourself: the city you want to live and work in, the type of apartment you’d like, whether or not you’ll have roommates, etc. Use these dreams to remind yourself that you can’t get what you want unless you work hard.